Today, IVF, IVI, donors, surrogates, etc. all have been developed
to the fertility challenged, at a cost.
Malati has been married for 3 and half years now. She hasn't
conceived to date. She works as a housemaid/cook/governess rolled in one. The
children she took care of, whom she spoiled with treats, bathed, dressed,
disciplined into doing their homework, kissed their hurts away, wiped tears are
grown, on their way to college and beyond. Less indulgent, they resent her
shortened temper.
She started young, yet now is reaching an age defined by doctors
as less than ideal for childbearing. Her spouse's sperm count is on a lower end
– not quite infertile, but not enough motile sperm. All tests show that she has
patent tubes, is producing eggs, and the uterus is fine.
The question remains – how can she get a child of her own? Certainly,
she cannot afford the expensive IVF treatments available to the rich. Will she
accept a sperm donor, will her husband accept one? Even if they do who will do the procedures,
to make it happen?
The plight of many like Malati is tragic on several levels. She is
barely literate –though she can read three languages – Hindi, Oriya and
English. She studied in a village school to the eighth class and then chose to
come to Delhi, looking for work to help out her family. Her education, for what
it was, ended then and there. She then lived with various families, working
full days and a half, earning a living to take care of her family that included
parents, a brother and a sisters’ illegitimate daughter. She supported them,
saving nothing for herself; each trip to the village was made laden with gifts
for everyone which, to my mind, were ill afforded.
She has no idea of how the body works, how she can increase her
chances of conceiving. She cannot afford private treatment from specialists who
would take time to patiently explain to their paying patients the workings and
mechanics of the reproductive organs. She is dependent on government hospitals
and much overworked doctors who have little time and energy required to educate
as they treat.
She has to travel to the hospital, taking time off for her
treatment. It has to be workdays, has to be a peak hours when traffic is
horrendous, the weather often inclement. Will her employers give her that time
off especially when it will mean, should the treatment succeed, that they will
have to choose between giving time off to a very efficient maid, or look
towards replacing her? Should they replace her, she will be left in the
unenviable position of having to look after an extra mouth with a lower family
income. If they keep her on, they will have to support some form of child care
plan – either she would come to work with her child, or would need to hire
someone to look after her child. Given our propensity to forget our trials, it
seems unlikely, though her employers would have gone through the hell
themselves.
Before that situation ever arises, she must surmount the
challenges in following instructions that the doctors treating her give. They
would write it out in English, in the medical shorthand that few outside
comprehend. She must afford the cyclical medication to increase egg production.
She must afford the trips to the hospital for follicular monitoring. Her
husband has to take time off to provide sperm samples for IVI treatment. She must afford nutritious food to have a
healthy baby.
And there are many who would say that she should not enjoy
motherhood as she can ill afford it. Really? Is that how we will define who has
and who does not have children?
