Anger Management

Anger Management

Given to an obsessive compulsion to read, one ends up with a variety of books that the more discerning might avoid. It also leaves one with half remembered stories and maybe an inkling of what it was all about. All I remember about the book was that it was a whodunit, set in urban America, with a Rabbi trying to solve the murder of a female Rabbi who shares a radio programme with him.

The one extraordinary teaching from this book - read over 20 years ago – is focussing on the essentials. The Rabbi asks an old couple to forgive their daughter(I don’t remember what she had done or even who the murderer was, let alone the motive). They say – what she had done was unforgivable. He then asks them if they would go to their daughters’ funeral. Of course, she is our daughter, pat comes the reply. So, are you waiting for your daughter to die to forgive her? This last sentence has stayed with me since then.

Are we waiting for our dear ones to die before we forgive them? When you are very, very angry with someone, ask yourself the basic question – will you attend the persons’ funeral? Would you expect that person to attend yours? Are you waiting for death to melt the ice? Should you?

In the answer to these questions lies the very basic answer – should you forgive. When someone passes on – there is no way you can communicate any more – you can’t show your love, your caring. You can attain a semblance of peace by atoning in a myriad of different ways, but you cannot communicate your feelings to the person concerned. Don’t wait to express your love. Don’t wait to pour away the hurt and anguish. Live today as if it is the last day of your life – with no time to repent. Every extra day you get is a bonus.

Life is short. Doesn’t matter how many years you live, it is always short for whatever one wants to achieve, to do. Living in peace and harmony is not that difficult. Try it.